September 29, 2014
It’s Chicago, home to CM Punk. The crowd throws this dis-remembered fact at HHH and Stephanie as they approach the ring. Stephanie is ready for this, she asks them why they would chant for a quitter, she concludes they are all quitters as well. Stephanie transitions seamlessly into her address regarding the criminal, Dean Ambrose. The evidence depicting Dean stealing the Money in the Bank briefcase is undeniable, it is a transgression that will not go unpunished. Paul Heyman appears on cue regarding the trespass against his client Brock Lesnar by Mr.MITB, Seth Rollins at Night of Champions. Lesnar did not appreciate the Curb Stomp from behind, does Brock have a problem he needs to address? With the Authority? With Seth Rollins?
Seth comes to the ring to explain his actions, they were his alone. He apologizes to a surprised Heyman, even gives Paul his hand which Heyman cautiously takes. Heyman implies things are ok but warns Rollins that, if there is a next time, Seth will have to deal with Brock himself. With that cleared up, Seth rants about Ambrose. Ambrose appears on the video screen, he asks Seth and The Authority if they want the MITB briefcase, he begs them to come get it. Seth, HHH and Stephanie walk up the ramp towards the back but Rollins is ambushed by John Cena, still looking to get a piece of Rollins himself. Seth quickly escapes and runs away from John like a coward.
HHH calls in his agents backstage, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury are charged with reacquiring the MITB briefcase, although it means little to Dean Ambrose, the case is a symbol of the business and HHH will not accept any injustice towards his business. Rollins wants to recoup the case himself but HHH and Steph explain to him that Dean Ambrose is counting on that, The Authority will protect the Golden Boy.
The Intercontinental Championship is on the line in this three way bout. Miz claims he is the rightful Champion after Ziggler beat him holding the tights, he fails to mention he did the same to Dolph the night before. Cesaro won a Battle Royal for this opportunity and rightly deserves it. Ziggler is on the hot seat again with his title on the line and does not even have to be pinned to lose his title. It is a near fall extravaganza! 2! 2! 2! 2! 2! Dolph slaps Miz in the face with a perfectly executed Figure Four Leg lock, Cesaro is just in time to break up the submission with a double stomp to Ziggler. Miz hobbles to the ropes and somehow climbs the turnbuckles, Miz launches himself off the ropes into a European Uppercut. The Miz is knocked out. Ziggler Superkicks Cesaro out of his boots and pins the unconscious Miz. Ziggler retains the belt off Cesaro’s Uppercut.
Noble and Mercury continue their quest, they grill everyone in their path about Dean’s whereabouts. The Great Khali is as unintelligible as always, he tells jokes with marbles in his mouth. Jamie and Joey have nothing, they report this to The Authority. Noble has mustard on the corner of his mouth when he reports to The Authority, Stephanie and HHH questions his sincerity to the task at hand. Noble and Mercury hastily exit on the threat of otherwise losing their employment with the company.
A “Beautiful” Luke Harper vignette rolls. Wyatt speaks on saving Harper, on molding him.
Rosa is accompanied by Nattie and Nattie is reluctantly accompanied by Tyson Kidd. Layla has Summer Rae in her corner. The match loses all attention as Nattie and Tyson quickly become the focus with their marital woes, an extension from Total Divas. Rosa has an extension ripped out but her outrage at Layla doesn’t help her any when she receives the Lay-out. Layla is victorious and Tyson has some ‘splainin’ to do.
Ambrose has come to the ring, he has the MITB briefcase with him, Noble and Mercury are quick to attend. Ambrose is bemused, he asks if The Authority has sent the Cruiser weight Division to retrieve him. Dean invites them to take the case but they retreat to get some back up. Ambrose throws stolen t-shirts into the crowd while he waits. Joey and Jamie return with Seth and some security personnel. Ambrose asks is the Security is real because they look suspiciously like Rose Buds from the week before. Ambrose submits the case in the ring and exits through the crowd. Seth checks the case to make sure there is no trickery, he is dissatisfied when a green slime bomb covers his face upon opening the case. Rollins is seething, he struggles to pull off his sport coat and yells at Jamie and Joey for making him look like a jerk although he does that just fine on his own.
“Looks like Kermit the frog just ‘finished’ on Rollins’ face.” - @ShitWrestlerSay
Mark Henry is down in the dumps. Bo Dallas wants to lift Henry’s spirit, he employers Mark to just Bo-lieve! The bell rings and Henry marches through Bo on a warpath. Henry has one hundred percent of the offense as he climbs the second turnbuckle for the corner Splash on Dallas. Bo rolls away and catches his wind, a Running Bo-Dog strikes Henry down and Dallas has beaten the World’s Strongest Man. Bo has little time to celebrate as Henry attacks him back stage after the match. Mark is a poor loser.
Nikki Bella is pleased with herself, her connection with The Authority grants her the power to put her sister in a Handicap match against Cameron and Eva Marie. The girls tag frequently to keep Brie on the defensive. The two amateurs quickly show their green by having a communication breakdown and Brie is able to roll Cameron up for the three count. Nikki is displeased by this.
The Matadores have El Torito while Slater & Gator have Horns-Gator with them tonight. Hornswoggle proves to be an asset to his team when the Matadores become distracted by El Torito’s face off with the Little Gator. Slater gets the pin for his team. Titus abuses the Bull post match while the Matadores lay helpless. Adam Rose and The Bunny intervene chasing Slater, Gator and Titus away.
Rusev stands at attention with the Russian flag at his back. Big Show confronts the pseudo Russian about his glass jaw. Rusev is so angry that he speaks to Show in English! Big Show is not impressed, he’s spoken English all his life, Show says he’s going to pull a Lebowski and knock down a White Russian. Rusev quickly ebbs from the ring. Big Show is left alone with the Russian flag, he desecrates it by pulling it down. Rusev is beside himself while the hypocrites embolden the Big Show.
Paige has a new BFF, her name is Alicia Fox and she will fight AJ Lee tonight with the Diva’s Champ at her side. AJ gains her bearings with a little difficulty, having Paige at ringside. AJ leaps from the top ropes down onto Paige and Fox on the outside. Alicia regains her composure and with Paige’s help, is able to hit AJ with an Axe Kick for the win. AJ gets a Ram-Paige in a post match beat down by the girls.
“She knocked my lipstick off!” ~ best heel quote ever!” - @realscottyriggs (re. Alicia Fox)
Mizdow has to battle Sheamus while Miz sits at the announce table. Mizdow is doing his best to impress Miz, but only thing he is accomplishing is making the Irishman turn red. Mizdow is tossed into Miz by Sheamus when Miz is walking away from the confrontation. Mizdow eats a Brogue Kick and the match is over.
Hulk Hogan makes an appearance on RAW. He is the WWE’s version of Don West and a sad one at that.
“Hulk Hogan you lucky i don’t come to the Chicago so I can break your fucking neck. #CourageConquerCure” -@the_ironsheik
Cena and Ambrose are reluctant partners. Kane and Orton are sick of covering for Rollins. Everyone has a job they don’t like in this Main Event tag match. Cena starts the match while Ambrose paces on the apron. Kane and Orton use frequent tags like true veterans to keep Cena isolated. Ambrose is squealing his tires awaiting the Hot Tag from Cena, it arrives and Dean clears the ring and then goes over and then through the ropes to the outside to take Kane and the Viper down again! Ambrose does the Dirty Deeds on Orton but the pin fall is broken up by Seth Rollins, the match ends in disqualification. Ambrose attacks Seth. Cena attacks Seth. Ambrose attacks Cena, Ambrose attacks Seth. Cena attacks Ambrose, Cena attacks Seth. Kane and Orton come back and Cena and Ambrose are outnumbered and on their backs. Seth orchestrates a Curb Stomp off the MITB briefcase for each of his enemies. Rollins stands with his chin up, over the downed Ambrose and Cena.
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