4/20 Edition 2015
Albany, New York
The Steel Cage hovers above the squared circle as a dire reminder of the carnage that will happen within come Sunday, this is the Extreme Rules go home show. Randy wants to get things off his chest to start. Orton calls Seth’s banning of the RKO , in their match, was stupid, the RKO means nothing, the Viper will pick Rollins to pieces. Randy adorns his Swami hat and predicts the future, one where Seth loses his coveted championship. Rollins takes the stage with J&J Security at his back, he calls Orton’s promo predictable itself. Seth is the King of the Mountain in this industry and that means he’s just a little bit better than, well... everyone. Orton reminds the champion that the RKO isn’t banned tonight, and before the program leaves the air ways...expect one for yourself, Seth.
Ambrose and Harper just can’t seem to keep it in the ring and by the rules. Harper is unsure why Ambrose does not fear him, Luke promises that he will. They brawl out of the ring and through the crowd. The referee has long since stopped the match when they finally battle back to ringside. The belligerent continue up the ramp to the stage where Harper retreats after shoving Ambrose off the platform to the floor.
Rollins and his cronies are anxious as they wander through the halls of the arena, jumping at every sound. It’s only HHH, he tells Seth he looks tense, HHH wants his Champion to look strong. Seth wants to know how Kane will be dealt with for the disrespect he showed the Champion. HHH assures Seth things will be dealt with. Rollins isn’t finished whining, Seth says he needs more security, from Randy Orton. HHH reminds Seth that The Viper is only one man. Request denied.
The energy of the Lucha Dragons is apparent to the New Day but they have a plan. Big E pairs off with Kalisto and grounds the high flyer with his solid base and power. Sin Cara sees a more bellicose side of New Day, they keep the luchadore cornered and on the ground. The hot tag reaches the quick of Kalisto, he takes to the air and Big E has to break up the pin on Kofi. With the New Day regrouping on the floor, the Lucha Dragons mount the turnbuckles and execute tandem Moonsaults onto their adversaries. Sin Cara is the legal man for the Dragons but he cannot answer the referee’s ten count, Xavier Woods has him by the legs! The New Day win by count out and are now first in line to meet the Tag Team Champions, Cesaro and Kidd.
Fandango does the Fandango, he no longer needs a woman. Besides, Axel’s audition to be Fandango’s new valet crosses the borders of embarrassing, his dancing is disturbing at best. When Fandango’s music ends, so does the trance and Axel remembers his purpose in the ring, he attacks Fandango. Axel’s momentum sees his tear his shirt from his torso like the days of Hulkamania. This lapse, this second allowed, gives Fandango the opening needed. Axel meets Fandango’s top rope leg drop and his shoulders cannot lift from the mat before the official slaps it for the third and final time. Everyone Fandango!...wait that’s his old music..record scratch....that’s better, everyone Fandango now!
HHH has important, tv time type, news. Tough Enough is returning. That is all. Kane shows up for work while HHH is engaging the crowd. Kane says he must resign as Director of Operation due to Seth Rollins and his constant disrespect. HHH suggests they sit down in a more private setting and hash this out. Seth bursts in, he wants the dirty laundry to fly. HHH tries to mediate the situation as Seth contends that the Authority doesn’t need Kane. HHH has made a decision, Kane will be involved in the Randy Orton/Seth Rollins cage match, he will be the Guardian of the Galaxy...no wait, Gate, Guardian of the Gate. Anyone wanting to escape through the cage door must first go through Kane. HHH advises that Seth had better get on the same page as Kane, fast. Rollins gives Kane’s hand a quick shake before receding to the back with his two man posse.
Naomi has effectively knocked the number one contender out of the chase by sidelining Paige with a vicious beating in London England. Naomi wants the Diva’s Championship and she will not wait her turn, anymore. Nikki, the Diva’s Champion, sends her twin sister in against the aggressor to scout for a weakness, she has been bested by Naomi before. Brie is finding Naomi a formidable force and even turning it on with “Brie Mode” falls short when Brie’s face meets the Rear View. How many Bella’s does Naomi have to beat to get her title shot?
In catering, backstage, Heath Slater is bragging to Rowan that he will answer John Cena’s open challenge and become the new US Champion, tonight. Rowan hastily excuses himself and Slater thinks him rude. The Viper is present, he strikes. Slater gets an RKO into his diner and through the table.
Roman Reigns doesn’t feel like talking tonight, he wants to fight, Big Show! Bo Dallas answers the call, to let Roman know that he is a failure, but also, he doesn’t have to be a failure. Reigns needs to Bo-lieve. Dallas meets a Superman Punch and gut wrenching Spear. Roman retrieves the microphone and declares that he will be the last man standing come Sunday. Bo-lieve that!
Sheamus has lost his lobster claw theme music, he carries a different tune now. As soon as the bell rings Sheamus Brogue Kicks Ryder in the chin. He expresses frustration at the lack of real competition, saying he could easily end the match here, but he wants to inflict more punishment. Sheamus dominates the rag doll that was Ryder, inside and outside of the ring. The referee can only watch, but Ziggler has other ideas. Dolph gives Sheamus a Zig Zag and puts him down. Ryder is disqualified by this but had no chance of victory anyhow. Ziggler has saved Ryder from total destruction.
Kane wants to prove he still has fire and brimstone in his bones, he sets his sights high on John Cena and the US Title open challenge. Cena was not expecting this. Kane is barbaric as he takes Cena to a count of seven on the outside. John can’t catch his breath, Kane is dogged in his salvation. Kane receives multiple near falls. A comeback attempt for Super Cena has him shouting, “You can’t see me!”, but he is visible to Kane, who reaches out and grabs Cena by the throat. The Choke Slam connects but Cena’s shoulder blades are the opposite polarity to the mat. Kane continues with a Tomb Stone attempt. John Cena displaces Kane’s finisher and drops the AA on the monster. Cena retains the US Championship. Seth is with J&J Security watching the events unfold by the monitor, they laugh at the outcome, Kane has failed.
“I TAKE THE OPEN CHALLENGE BEAK EVERYBODY FUCKING NECK” -@the_ironsheik
Renee Young interviews The Miz backstage about the implications of losing his brand to Mizdow in the following contest. Miz is unfazed by this, but less so when Renee has to throw it to Byron Saxton who is backstage with US Champion John Cena, really?! Saxton steps seeks refuge as Cena is attacked from behind by Rusev and his Russian chain. The Accolade is strapped in with the chain and Cena is stretched to the limit. The pseudo Russian has made his point clear.
Mizdow tries to secure the Miz Brand quickly as he rolls Miz up for a tow count, a backslide gets him another two. Miz cannot find a foothold, Mizdow never sways. It’s Summer Rae, Mizdow’s valet, that proves Miz’s conservator, as she rakes the eyes of Mizdow in her betrayal. Miz lands the Skull Crushing Finale and keeps his Brand. As Miz celebrates, he is delivered an RKO out of nowhere.
Bray Wyatt reminds everyone that he is the New Face of Fear in the WWE.
Ryback wants to be fed more! Adam Rose is just not enough for the big guy. Rose has little offense before the Ryback assault commences. Meathook and Shellshock combine to form and three count on the mat. The Rose party, a Banana and Hot-dog, come to Adam’s aid. Ryback is still hungry, he devours the food with a double Shellshock.
“Remember when Ryback used to do Handicap matches? I want him to fight the entire Rosebuds group.” -@RatedRiv
Kane confronts Seth backstage and Rollins apologizes for his behavior, he says he is dedicating his match tonight to Kane.
Dolph and Seth exchange blows to begin with at the bell. Seth starts his dissection of Ziggler by wearing him down in locks and holds. Ziggler mounts a comeback with a giant DDT for a two count. Ziggler has a reserve tank and he taps it with a SuperKick to Rollins. Seth kicks out of the pin attempt. Sheamus decides to pay his friend Dolph a visit at ringside, Ziggler is not amused, but he is distracted. Rollins hits Ziggler with a Buckle Bomb and, what can only be described as, not the Curb Stomp, to amass the victory. Seth cuts a promo on Kane in the ring and when the monster appears on the stage with HHH, Seth calls for the Steel Cage to be lowered for his safety. The cage lowers but instead of finding himself in a safe place, Seth turns in his cell to met the waiting eyes of the Viper. RKO. Orton stands over his prey with the prize, the WWE Championship, held over his head.
“Rumors are true. R.I.P Curb Stomp.” -@AnonWrestleFan
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