Match #1: Cesaro vs. Fernando vs. Jimmy Uso vs. Big E
Stipulation: Fatal 4 Way
Match length: 4:58
Match rating: 3/5
This was actually a very good match, every guy got something in and there were many double and triple team moves. Some of these moves featured Big E german suplexing Cesaro and Jimmy which resulted in a double team suplex from Jimmy and Cesaro to Fernando, as well as Cesaro hitting a slingshot on Fernando which caused Fernando to head butt Big E. My only complaint would be the matches length, considering it was a Fatal 4 Way match which is usually a bit longer. Overall, this was a very nice match that I would have liked to see go on a bit longer. The match came to a close when Jimmy Uso hit his top rope splash and pinned Cesaro.
Winner: Jimmy Uso
WrestleMania hype: Byron Saxton and Rene Young
Ummm....WWE....when I said that this should be rebranded as a talk show rather than a wrestling show, I WASN'T BEING SERIOUS! Apparently they decided that we would rather see video packages hyping up WrestleMania matches rather than actual matches, this went on for a while.
Promo #1: AJ Lee
AJ recalls he past rolls in the company as a GM, diva, the girlfriend of many wrestlers, as well as the longest reigning diva's champion. She says that she will beat "those pamper, prissy, plastic, mannequins" (The Bellas) at WrestleMania, and that the only question she has is whether or not she will be doing that alone. She then calls out Paige to the ring, who says that she loves how she just wants to skip past what happened on Raw and that she is not fooling anyone. Paige recalls defeating AJ the night after WrestleMania last year to win the Diva's title, saying that it is obvious that AJ doesn't want her to have the title back. AJ says that she wants to be champion, but that now isn't the time for that. AJ says that it is about WrestleMania, and that if they are a threat to each other then they are no threat to them. Paige says that she knows they have to be on the same page, but asks how does she know that this isn't another one of AJ's tricks. AJ answers by saying that she hates losing, and says that Paige is the same way. AJ then jokes by comparing the Bellas to the Kardashians, who come out as soon as AJ and Paige are about to seal the deal with a handshake and "officially" become tag team partners (not the Kardashians).
The Bellas come out and cut a long and drawn out promo that makes Jumpin' Jeff Farmer look like Shane Douglas. I will paraphrase this promo. Brie says in her unemotional, monotone, robot voice that despite all of the things that Nikki has done to her, she has forgiven her because they are sisters. Nikki actually said something interesting when she stated that Brock Lesnar may have worked more days than AJ this past year, this was the only interesting statement made by them however. The Bellas then said that every diva in the locker room wants to be just like them, which AJ gives a sarcastic retort to in calling them "D list failed actresses". Paige says that people like her and AJ prefer to be the freaks, geeks, weirdos, misfits, and oddballs, but most of all they are not afraid to be themselves. AJ says that her and Paige are real women, and that they will kick the Bellas' ass at WrestleMania. Nikki says that she doesn't prefer labels, but that a real women stops talking and does something about it. Brie holds Nikki back and the two walk up the stage to close the promo. This was almost painful to watch and listen to, thankfully it is over now and we can move on to....*sigh*....Cena....forget the thankfully part.
Match #2: John Cena, Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns, and Mark Henry vs. Seth Rollins, Bray Wyatt, Kane, and Big Show
Stipulation: 8 man tag team match
Match length: 19:31
Match rating: 2/5
The match starts off with Reigns looking strong against 3 of the 4 members of the opposing team until the Big Show was tagged in, Reigns tagged in Henry at this point. Rollins, Wyatt, Kane, and Show then began to work over Henry before the commercial break. Cena was shown hitting 3 of the 5 moves he knew after the commercial break, he lost the upper hand when Big Show came in. Kane and Big Show began working over Cena until Rollins was tagged in, who countered an AA from Cena to hit the shiranui for a 2 count. Bray Wyatt was tagged in and began working over Cena until Cena countered his senton, Rollins was then tagged in who then began to work over Cena.
Big show came in and missed a springboard corner splash before tagging in Rollins who was tossed over the top to allow Cena to tag Bryan in. Bryan began working over Rollins with his signature hot tag routine, up until a distraction from J&J allowing Rollins to hit an enzugiri and tag Big Show in. Big Show was about to finish off Bryan before Reigns came in with a superman punch and a spear, which was followed up with an AA and a running knee which led to Bryan pinning Big Show. This match had proper main event length, but ultimately failed in the wrestling quality department.
Best match: Cesaro vs. Fernando vs. Jimmy Uso vs. Big E
Worst match: John Cena, Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns, and Mark Henry vs. Seth Rollins, Bray Wyatt, Kane, and Big Show
Overall rating: 1/5
Overall thoughts: This 1/5 rating is being very generous, this show was painfully boring. The only reason why I didn't give it a 0/5 is because the opening match was actually very good and because of the main event length. However, 2 matches on a 2 hour "wrestling" show is nothing short of ridiculous. WWE apologists may come out and say that it was a show meant to hype up WrestleMania, but that doesn't explain why the show only featured about 25 minutes of wrestling when they had over an hour and a half of TV time. As a whole, this show had a great start but did absolutely nothing with it. What are my final thoughts? The day that a divas promo is lengthier than a fatal 4 way match is the day that comments about this being a talk show go from simple jokes to the truth.
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